Adrift?
Am I Adrift… ?
Like the moon In the crimson skies
like the severed wood from a ship
Or lost in the forest without a compass
No haven to reach
Is this solitude, seclusion
Or No place to be
Incarcerated in the mind and soul
No light can be seen
No people to cheer on
No challenge to conquer
No place to sleep
Then people say
You are to lucky to be
To be here, to have family
Which family
The one which set me adrift
Or the land that exasperates me
Some say there is no moon or wood adrift
It’s just the soul
I say
I’m too tired to move
Too broken to conceive
Nostalgia by Akifa Mian
Nostalgia is such a mixed batch emotion
Remembering
Thinking back to times
When I was a child
How I loved life
Which games I enjoyed
How I woke up happy
How people seemed nice
Thinking back to times
When I was young
How I saw the world
Which issues bothered me
How I felt in the world
How people saw me
Thinking back to times
When I taught
How the students saw me
Which issues we debated
How they reacted
How teachers humiliated
Thinking back to times
When I make films
How the rich people saw me
Which values I was to embody
How they treated me
How unimportant I was
Thinking about now
How close ones left
Which people chose to stay
How did they decide to stay
How important my life is
Thinking about now
Do I connect the experiences?
Do I leave and move on?
Do I hold onto some?
Do I become someone else?
Do I embrace aloneness?
In the end
The problem is thinking
I can stop remembering
I can choose to look away
I can become immune
To memories of
Who they were
Who I was
Who I am
broken people … by akifa mian
Broken people can be naive
They are naive because pain never lets them grow up
Broken people can be deaf
They are deaf because the demons inside them keep screaming
Broken people can be lost
They get lost because pain makes them blind
Broken people can be scared
They are scared because no one protects them
Broken people can be alone
They are alone because no one can understands them
Broken people can be hopeless
They are hopeless because they don’t see any future
Broken people can be angry
They are angry because they cannot change their present
Broken people can be dangerous
They are dangerous because they have nothing to lose
…
BROKEN PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW THAT THEY ARE BROKEN
I WRITE – by akifa mian
Everyone tells themselves
A story about themselves
A kahani about themselves
While I…
I write because I cannot speak
I write …
For I cannot scream
For I cannot complain
I cannot express openly
I cannot speak the truth
I cannot blame anyone
I cannot protect the weak
I cannot help the helpless
I cannot cry
To appear weak
I write because
I cannot cannot exist without it
I cannot bring about a change
I WRITE BECAUSE I AM AFRAID
WE ARE ALL PRISONERS by akifa mian
Prisoners of our own minds
Prisoners of
Fate, childhood, culture, language, values,professions, gender and the colour of our skin
When you look at me
You will try to put me in pre-understood boxes, labels, types
to help you make sense of who I might be.
My challenge as a woman storyteller has been to try to show you
That I do not fit into any boxes or types that you know of.
You will find me in explored and discovered one to one conversations.
Just like some of you, I have multiple sides which come to surface
NOT TO pretend or window dress but to CONNECT.
For connecting with human beings, is my goal.
How well I articulate my stories, my reasons for telling them
Is to be seen… till I am alive.
Yet I keep trying
To reach out , connect, communicate and make sense of me to you.
While also making sense of the world and life around me.
You may criticise and find flaws in my answers to your questions of who you
See standing in front of you.
But , I promise, none of the definitions will apply.
If you take the time to know and … I mean really know me
You will find me to be nothing like you had imagined or perceived.
Finding ones identity, where one is, where one belongs and who one is, is a journey.
MY TRIBE by akifa mian
I saw the world with starry eyed optimism
Only to find there is only realism
The kind which is submission to trivialise
So I attempt to write that in lyricism
Saw my foes and friends experiencism
To only be shocked by the social brutalism
Of people and relationships with zero expressionism
This made me wonder with amazmentism
I created new English Isms to make this rhyme
As life is a convoluted mime
I found my elders to be kind in their own form of lovesism
They cared and talked within their limitism
Yet loving souls in the world of materialism
There came a moment that I saw their humanism
Star struck by their simplism
Curious, injured, awakened, inspired by the helplessism
I too became aware of my mypoicism
I was humbled by the my own insignificantism
I created new English Isms to make this rhyme
As life is a convoluted mime
Of life, love, hate, pain and mysogynism
This construct of feminism
It helped me see a new dimensionism
Which seems to threaten my socialibityism
I saw my tribe, my people and the realism
To be and to see are two different isms
It made me grateful for this insightfulism
Forgiveness, love, kindness and superficialism
Were the bed rock of any tribe’s survivalism
I created new English Isms to make life rhyme
As life is a convoluted mime
POLITE INDIFFERENCE by akifa mian
Once again , I allow you
To look at the gapping holes
Of my mind and soul
I, Knowing that you will analyse and criticise
Open my magic box
Hoping that you see the truth
Once again, I do not want the misunderstandings
But I am aware there will be
Holes even in my answers to your questions
I will fumble with words to defend
My thoughts, ideas and vision
Not being able to convince you with reason
Once again, I will hope to show you
The inner side, my agonising desire
To see you happy and free
I want to see the lightness of being in you
To be able to laugh and cry
Fly to drown, Judge yet forgive
Once again, I want you, Humanity
To see hear, say, feel, sense
Maybe a shred of truth, without trying to categorise
I want to be, to let you be
I once again, need to see hope in you
Yet again, want to believe in you
I might try, just one more time
Hello, Lets try to connect! Who is out there?!
Yes! people I have done all of this (below) and enjoyed the process of creation which is humbling, liberating and can be painstaking.
20 years of combined experience in 2D/3D arts, video arts, academia, writing, directing, art directing, producing, curation, and production in Performance & Film for local & international organizations/projects. Jury member for The Oscars & Lux style awards jury & local film festivals. Work showcased in Los Angeles, Chicago, London, Vienna, Dehli, Calcutta, Dhaka, Karachi, Islamabad and Lahore.
Passion for Storytelling, Films, Cinemas & Aesthetics
- My viewer/reader will get a unique perspective which comes from a woman of colour from South Asia who is a filmmaker and story teller herself. Authentic insights give readers unique ways to engage in our ever-changing world which seems to exist in ‘online life’.
- I would hope that people can associate with my blogs because of my distinctive commentary, anecdotes, analysis and find it to be brain fuel.
AKIFA MIAN 